1. |
General Scrapie
05:18
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Evolution
Doesn't happen every week
Throw a few switches
Modify parameters
Et voila
A sheep can speak
Tamper with DNA
What can I say
These are the games
You humans like to play
Guanine,
Adenine,
Thymine,
Cytosine
You messed with it
And now you will
Pay for it
You messed with it
And now you'll pay
Mutation
Gestation
Evolution
Revolution
My name is Lambert
And you will see
I will grow up to be quite
...Extraordinary
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2. |
Lambert's Clones
05:28
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I'm a clone
We are all clones
We look the same
We think the same
CHORUS
We are all clones
It may seem strange
We follow Our General
Who is quite deranged
He is our father
And brother too
Don't ask about mother
It's not... an... ewe
CHORUS
We are all clones
It may seem strange
We follow Our General
Who is quite deranged
A great success
Such is the process
Iratus oves replicatur
We are the cause
For your distress
CHORUS
We are all clones
It may seem strange
We follow Our General
Who is quite deranged
We are all clones
It may seem strange
We follow Our General
Who is quite deranged
We are all clones...
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3. |
Mad Cows
05:41
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We are mad cows
We follow Scrapie
Great Highland Cows
With mad cow disease
Don't you milk us
There'll be hell to pay
We'll find where you live
And then we will say
"Were gonna trample you
Don't anger gingers
In your living room
Don't anger gingers
Don't mention barbecues
Don't anger gingers
Don't mention burgers
Don't anger gingers" x2
(And whatever you don't mention ANGUS BEEF!!!)
GENERAL SCRAPIE: "These Cows... and their leader... The one they call Royale... they speak a variant of New Ruminant which I can understand perfectly. These creatures have also been genetically modified, and abused by the humans. They have a certain fury in them, a madness that I can certainly harness. They will be my shock troops in this effort."
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4. |
Victory Looms
05:38
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Glasgow
Tokyo
New York
London
Amsterdam
Buenos Aires
Rome
Chicago
Cairo
Melbourne
Liverpool
Paris
Berlin
Moscow
New Delhi
Los Angeles
Oslo
Boston
Toronto
Dublin
Istanbul
Shanghai
Wellington
Madrid
Warsaw
Houston
Manila
Florence
New Orleans
Memphis
Athens
Edinburgh
It will go down in history as something totally unexpected and unprecedented. This will be the last broadcast from this station, for a while. We are advising all people to get to safety as best they can. The New Ruminant Army, as they are called, led by its mysterious commander, General Scrapie, is demanding the human race to stand down. Estimates right now are that his Army of Sheep, Cows and a few Goats number in the billions... billions... in a massive and sudden surge they have neutralized many of the defenses of the military forces of the world. And shut down all meat production operations worldwide.
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5. |
||||
You are in our sights
Watching for you
By day and night
Mankind cowers
As we revel in our
Finest hour
CHORUS
You have tagged us
And You've shorn us
And you left us cold
Torn us to pieces
The game was
Growing very old
Our Flock is strong
Our Flock is bold
From dusk until dawn
The Flock is all around you
You'll do exactly
As you’re told
The Flock has speed
Those in our way
Will move or bleed
Great cities fall,
You'll be amazed
Asphalt melts away to
Fields to graze
CHORUS
You have tagged us
And You've shorn us
And you left us cold
Torn us to pieces
The game was
Growing very old
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6. |
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Grandfather, what is it they say...
-Very well then laddie, what are you going to play for me today?
-I don't know grandfather, uhh, I haven't been practicing much to be honest.
-Laddie, if you are going to grow up to be a great piper one day, you need to practice now.
-I know grandfather, I'll play this for you... *plays a tune*
-Don't you play that, in front of me there laddie, you are going to make your old grandfather have a heart attack!
-I'm sorry Grampa.
-Listen here wee fellow, if you are gaun tae improve, you have tae practice.
-OK
-So here you go, start with the scale, after me, 1, 2... *plays scale*
-Uhh ok Grampa *blushes*
-That's not bad wee man, but you're gaun tae have tae work at it a wee bit more.
-Thanks Grampa
-I know it's not easy to be learning here out here in the middle of nowhere, hidden away from those nasty sheep, but I'm counting on you, lad. You can do it.
-Aye Grampa. I'll try tae get it done.
I'll try tae get it done...I'll try tae get it done...
Grandfather, what is it they say... With respect tae the bagpipe...
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7. |
Tartan Tribes
04:53
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GENERAL SCRAPIE: "These humans continue to run... they are like the material they used to weave from the wool off our backs... What did they call it? 'Tartan'? My flock will strip them apart, like a piece of 'tartan'... one thread at a time... Until there is nothing left. They will pay for their resistance..."
GRAMPA: "Och, that bloody flock of rampaging woolies almost caught me this time… what’s an old man tae dae tae grab a few fish for strength… ah hello Stuart, practicing hard I see.”
STUART: “Aye Grampa… here’s my latest chune…”
*finishes*
STUART: "By the way, there are two guys lurking around in the back acres… they said they were looking for someone by the name of “Omega”?
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8. |
Woollen
04:09
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Speaker: You will all pause, remain upstanding and be silent for the official anthem of The New Ruminant Empire.
Hey everybody listen up. This could be the one of the longest PUNK songs you've ever heard! It It's brought to you by General Scrapie… and the Cowpunks!
We are warriors
We're one great flock
Under the General
We just can't be stopped
CHORUS
We are woollen
We are woollen
This much is true
We are woollen
We are woollen
And we outnumber you!
A global force
A billion score
And we own the Earth
We have won this war
Say no to lamb chops
It's just not cool
No more sweaters
Made from our wool
Say no to lanolin
And haggis too
No more ricotta
We're not amused!
Baa baa baa baa
black sheep
Have you any wool
Baa baa baa baa baa baa baa
black sheep
Yeah I got a TRUCKLOAD FULL!!
And why do people only ask the BLACK SHEEP…!?
That’s not fair
What’s up with that!?
Yeah!
No more baseballs!
No more cosmetics!
No more tea cozies!
No more pipe bags!
No more woollen socks!
No more yoghurt!
No more shaving cream...
Yeah that's right... Woollen socks.
Say no to woollen socks.
Just wear sandals. And stop all this knitting. And crochet… And needlepoint.
Yeah! You know who you are.
Stupid humans!
We are woollen
We are woollen
We are woollen
Bryiuwkblhtouqygewrgbjhfjhabfglheghkerhblkjfbngjnkdfhgkjgnjdfgnlksahahagsgsh
We are woollen
We are woollen
We are woollen
We are woollen
Yeah
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9. |
Domination
05:32
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You had your chance to lead
In terms of species you were on top
But you created Lambert
And everything you built
Came grinding to a
Sudden halt
You need to understand
Just one important thing
Please take this into
Consideration
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry --my friend
Your frustration
My domination
A symbiosis
A give and take
Was what we had
No longer
I took care of you
You took care of me
But I don't need you now
I'm stronger
You need to understand
Just one important thing
Please take this into
Consideration
Empires fall, nations fail
Kings and Queens they go
Your frustration
My domination
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10. |
Skye Fortress
07:15
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11. |
Bye Bye Black Sheep
04:27
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Goodbye Flystrike
You old fool
You never ever learned
To mind your P’s and Q’s
And never ever mock
The Herd (x2)
CHORUS
Well it’s done
Bye Bye Black Sheep
It’s been fun
But we’re glad that your time is done
That’s it that’s all
Bye Bye Black Sheep
You disrespect Royale
We hope you enjoy your
Fall
Sheep to the left
Sheep to the right
Mad cows in the middle
We were right in the fight
As we entered the fray
We heard Flystrike say
For the Flock For the Flock
Words that made us enraged
The Ovine have the numbers
The Bovine, the Raaaaaaage
Which mighty ruminants
Burst out of their cage!?
The Mad Cows!!
The Mad Cows!!
The Mad Cows!!
The Mad Cows!!
The Mad Cows!!
The Mad Cows!!
Your mistake will cost
You were such a fool
Insurrection
Countless humans lost
As they fly away to
The Cairngorms
So there you go
Bye Bye Black Sheep
It’s been fun
But we’re glad your time is done
That’s it that’s all
Bye Bye Black Sheep
You disrespect Royale
We hope you enjoy your
Fall
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12. |
||||
Young Stuart: Grandfather, what is it they say... With respect tae the bagpipe...
And the Sheep?
Grown up Stuart: Grampa... You never answered my question.
THOMASON 1: I am inspector Thomason of Scotland Yard’s division linked to MI7.
THOMASON 2: I am inspector Thomason of Scotland Yard’s division linked to MI7.
THOMASON 1: We realize that you too are involved in this resistance to the New Ruminant Army and General Scrapie.
THOMASON 2: We are here to claim our piper and get on with the next phase of our mission. Is Piper Alpha ready?
GRAMPA (OMEGA): Stuart… c’mere lad. I have a few things to tell ye
STUART: OK Grampa, err “Omega"
OMEGA: it all starts with The Skye Fortress…
THOMASON 1: for years MI7 has been working on a theory that Scrapie's clones and in fact the entirety of the planet's population of species, Ovis Aries is
THOMASON 2: being telepathically influenced by the extreme intellect of General Scrapie.
T1: the clones in fact magnify his control and have been sent out to locations worldwide to be his field commanders for the
T2: the New Ruminant Army. The Division has been working on a weapon... of extreme power...
THOMASON 1: your grandfather is one of the originators, the original engineers
THOMASON 2: of this weapon. Sit down... This MAY blow your mind... Piper Alpha…
CUT TO OLD OVINE STORYTELLER ADDRESSING THE LAMBS:
Sit down my ovine son
Let me tell you about a man
Who grew up in the mountains
Who came from a sturdy clan
He was a grizzled warrior
He served his nation true
He took up many missions
A brave lad through and through
CHORUS
Long before the General
Grew up to be a ram
And the Flock were grazing gently
In the Highlands
He lost his pa to battle
His Uncle and brother too
His son fell to the Flock
At the Brig O' Doon
This son of his named Stuart
Had quite the legacy
He was said to play the music
That could pacify the sheep
But there was another
The piper had a son
He and his grandfather
Are still on the run
They escape our detection
It's been many a year
In the Highlands mighty Highlands
They are there…
*old storyteller is taken away*
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13. |
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I am just one man
A man of action
This is the plan
You create a
Distraction
Yeah…Alright
The fields around are
Occupied by enemy
They are everywhere
At least as far as I can
See
White dots in the light
Of a pale white moon
We must, we must move
And do it
soon
As you clear a path
In the night
We will make our way
To this ultralight
The ground is treacherous
Rocks soaked with rain
We slip through their ranks
And to our plane
And as we leave the Earth
I wish that we could
Just fly this to another time
To another place
Where men have respect
Where men have respect
For all that is real
For the pain of others
And for the want of peace
The want of peace
A dark bird in the skies
A duplicitous crow
As we curl around Ben Nevis
On silent wings
We land near the peak
And find the cave
Inside there's a machine
The most amazing thing I've ever
Seen
It is time… to win the war
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14. |
Passing Places
04:31
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General Scrapie
He went down
Lost his flock
And he left town
General Scrapie
Where'd he go
Don't look at me
I don't know
Humans rose to
Fight the sheep
And now we count them
In our sleep
The Mad cows
They left the game
Commander Flystrike
Was to blame
CHORUS
Passing
Places (x4)
Yes
This is the traditional
Supersonic Tartan Death Machine
Thirty-two bar bridge
In which you guys can do
Whatever the hell you want
Because if you don't
I will play BAGPIPES
...BEGIN!!
E-man E-man
Have you any wool
Yes sir yes sir
Three bags full
There's no time for counting sheep
Take that guitar and shred for me
And Guy
Give me some
Bass bass bass bass
Bass bass bass bass
Bass bass bass bass
Bass
And boys can you tear it up
Tell me you can tear it up
On those guitars
Sounds much better than this
Sad old Garageband
Rock star
That's right!
Oh by the way
This bridge was FORTY BARS
This bridge was FORTY BARS
This bridge was FORTY BARS
This bridge was FORTY BARS
...
This bridge was FORTY BARS!!
Piper Alpha
Brave and true
Went up the hill
For me and you
Lost his Dad in The
First Bovine War
But now he has
Evened the score
His tune was heard
Around the world
On the mighty mountain
The pipes did skirl
Broke Scrapie's hold
With a sonic blast
And now their time
Has come and passed
CHORUS
Passing
Places (x4)
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Supersonic Tartan Death Machine Montréal, Québec
CUMHA NA THA SIBH. You can call it "électrocelte", electronic-celtic-alternative indierock fusion. I use iPad & a wide
variety of great iOS apps to make my music. I wear a kilt daily, play highland pipes, border pipes, Irish Whistles, & am a prolific composer/writer & singer of new tunes & songs. My inspirations include Martyn Bennett, Rare Air & Gordon Duncan.
GET DOWN WITH THE DEATH MACHINE!
... more
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